Grandmother

Melbourne, Australia, 2006

My grandmother stands regally in her finest silk Kwan Gwa (裙褂). An ornate outfit that would normally be worn during special occasions. It was the garment she wore for my parents’ marriage ceremony almost 50 years ago.

She was born into a large wealthy household, the daughter of the second concubine. As was custom at the time, her birthdate was not recorded. Her father, grandfather and several generations before them were imperial Chinese civil servants (commonly known as ‘Mandarins’) — men who were learned in the Chinese classics and Confucian philosophy.

The collapse of Qing Dynastic rule saw immense upheaval throughout the country, and with it her family’s stature and wealth were irrevocably affected. At age 8 she left Guangdong province with her milk maid for the British colony of Hong Kong. There she engaged in tough manual labour, cleaning, cooking, ironing, and serving despite her tender age.

The death of her sister during childbirth brought about another change in her life. She adopted her niece, but seeing she that she was single, the two bereaved families agreed it was necessary for her to get married, in this case to the younger brother of her brother-in-law — my grandfather. Their marriage was not a happy one, compounded by abject poverty and alcoholism.

My grandmother turned towards Catholicism in the 1950s shortly after the birth of my mother, a sickly child in her nascent years. My grandmother found solace in the sisters’ prays at the Catholic hospital. She would continue to attend mass until her last days.